Slut; an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.
Whore; a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money
Dear Readers I need your help – could someone please tell me when it became acceptable to call other women & girls ‘SLUT’ ‘WHORE’ ‘SLAG’? Now may I just preface this by saying I know this isn’t a new occurrence in the world, and yes I have in the past passed judgement on a stranger without having any rights to. But it seems to me that all of this has now got out of hand. Worst of all it’s not coming from guys about girls, its girls about girls.
In the last 3 weeks I have seen 5 of my friends on Facebook discuss a girl we all went to school with, the said girl is dating one of the ‘mean girls’ ex boyfriends and they have all taken to bad mouthing this girl so badly on Facebook that I have noticed this morning she has deactivated her account. Now it cannot be coincidence that as the ‘mean girls’ were ripping strips of this girl, she decided to leave Facebook.
These girls; note I say girls and not women, as I can only see this behavior as that of people who aren’t grown up enough to be a touch more eloquent; I get that they feel they are protecting their recently dumped friend, but let me make something crystal clear, the aggressive attention should not be focused on the new girlfriend, but on the ex boyfriend surely. Did the new GF even know the guy when he was with his ex? We have been out of school 10 years and yet this feels a lot like it did when I was when I was 17. The difference now is that it’s not just friends on her Facebook maybe work colleagues or family. It’s not isolated to the school common room like it was in 2002, now its out there for the whole world to see.
Even more upsetting that the 27-year-old girls behaving like school bullies is the recent increase in status’ of friends nieces and nephews and cousins of mine; suddenly it seems to be the norm to call their friends ‘Slag’. When I asked my cousin about this she said “I don’t get it really, but I don’t want to be the only one not doing it, so I do.” This makes me so sad, I wanted to shake her and make her see the harm that she might be doing not only to herself but to her female and male friends. What chance do her female friends have of growing up and valuing themselves if their friends call them these awful names, even if only in jest. And the guys, what about them? Will they grow into the kind of guys who call the women in their life their ‘bitches’ ‘hoes’ or ‘birds’? Will they understand the way it makes those girls feel?
The reason all of this makes me so mad, is that 10 years ago I was the one being called the names, to name a few we had; slut, slag, whore, bitch, fat, ugly, gold digger, witch, tramp, hooker. I was non of these things, yes I had boyfriends, yes I made bad decisions, but I didn’t deserve that. But I have moved on and learnt to value myself, but after leaving school I saw myself how they saw me, only good for an easy shag, because since I believed them I was ugly and fat. Fast forward 10 years and I am stood in a bar in Harrogate and bump into a guy I knew at school, who although drunk managed to introduce me to his mates, however he introduced me to these friends as “This is Emma, the easiest girl from school” WOW what an introduction. Luckily i have enough wherewithal to just walk away and not hold it against him.
When I asked on my Facebook page and twitter what women thought about the way some women speak to each other I got a range of replies;
“ I’m not sure how any of those terms can be endearing, I’ve heard people using some of them in normal language with their friends…I think it’s disgusting! Wouldn’t want someone calling me any of them, in a friendly way or not!” SAH on Facebook
“When I was teaching I had to deal with this a lot (I had a horrible Yr10 form). I think a lot of it stems from America TV and film – they seem to use it there more often and not to the same effect. It’s more of a casual comment. Unfortunately it’s being used on a day-to-day basis now. Personally, I hate it!!” Sophie, Facebook
“Deeply insecure, needing affirmation that they are not like that themselves” from Laura Jane Connor
However, there were a few who seemed to think it could be said in an endearing way, that they didn’t mean it in a cruel way but that it was almost a pet name, something that I really do not understand.
So I am planning on making sure that those words never leave my lips, whether I am discussing someone I know or not. Instead I plan on saying this to everyone I know – thank you Aibeline Clark for this.
So seriously let me know what you think, I really want to know!