The road to slim…

Afternoon lovely readers!

So this is a completely self-indulgent post, or at least more so that my usual ramblings post.

Its simply about me!

Some of you will know, well all of you if you read the blog, that I am somewhat harsh on myself when it comes to my body and image. However today has marked a real achievement, I have lost just shy of 2 stone. Not only am I lighter, I am also healthier, happier and an all round nicer person to be around.

Its been easy to be honest, eat better and move more. I decided I would exercise for 30 minutes a day, which I have managed to do, bar a few days of horrid flu-ness. I have used MyFitnessPal to record every single thing that I eat & drink, no pretending or lying just honest. Its amazing the effect really thinking about the foods you eat has on your life. I never thought I would forgo biscuits for fruit or bread for salad, but there you have it!

Thanks to some lovelies at work telling me how ace I look today I decided to foray into the world of fashion posts. Thanks to Amy for her wonderful location ideas and photography skills. So here we go, the girl who hates full body pictures, in all her glory!


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My dress is from ASOS  and is a gorgeous jersey swing dress, teamed with my Primark faux-fur gilet, slouchy black knee-high Carvella boots and of course my obligatory Micheal Kors rose gold watch. Below I even braved it without my gilet! Note my knees are also visible!


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So it’s a simple post, just to reward myself for feeling awesome about how I look. I have a fair way to go to get to my goal, but I am on my way and that feels as awesome as I am sure reaching my goal will be. 

I had to include this picture – I feel like a superhero!

superhero me

I want to thank those of you who have been ace and supportive and made me yummy healthy tea when I have been to see them, to my mum for being ace and doing it with me! Who has herself lost an ace amount of weight before she heads of on her epic trip (more of that later)

So here’s to the next 2 stone and the rest of my life

E x

No More

When I was a little girl I was told, as I know a lot of girls are, that I was pretty, had beautiful unique eyes, had hair grown women dreamed about, and that I could do anything I wanted with my life. I accepted it because I was told it by the people who loved me.
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Dad & I 

So what happened between then and now. I have the same eyes and the same thick hair, and I am doing everything that I want in life. and yet I struggle.

I struggle with the fact that despite being told throughout my childhood the things I mentioned above, and many more, the only one that I held on to and has shaped me is the one about my ability to do anything I want with my life. I am doing exactly as I wish with my life. Everything I have done in my life has come from me, and yet when I look in the mirror it isn’t my accomplishments I see, it’s the things I think I have failed at.

How come I managed to turn all that positive reinforcement and support about my abilities and capabilities to achieve anything into a real life existence, yet as I sit and write this I am plagued with feelings of inadequacies about my looks that I have led me down a path to being overweight and horribly unfit.

I think that a lot of it stems from the fact that as girls we are taught by the people outside our home life that it’s the things we achieve in school that define us as we age. We are taught in school so that we can continue upwardly through life, to achieve success. In all that though I think certain messages are lost. I don’t think that girls are recognised for their naturally abilities, only those that are taught by others.

Yet as soon as we are grown those wonderful lessons we were taught, the incredible volumes of knowledge we have had imparted onto us over the years fall by the wayside and we are left with an overwhelming feeling of dissatisfaction that no amount of pay rises, promotions and big offices can over quell.

I judge myself based on the viewpoint of others. I only believe I am a good friend, if those around me tell me so. I only believe I am attractive if the people I find attractive find me so. I am only ‘right’ when someone tells me I am.

I don’t know if any of you reading feel this way, if you don’t then apologies, but I have decided in the last 40 minutes, although its been coming for some time, that as long as I am happy with the person I am, what I see in the mirror and my actions towards others then the opinions of others become null and void.

At the beginning of 2013 as the clock stuck midnight I made a promise to myself;

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No more trying to be someone else, no more trying to be the best at things that don’t matter and instead focus on the things that do, no more spending time angry that certain people in my life don’t behave the way I think they should, no more despising the reflection I see in the mirror. No More.

Instead here are my 2013 vows (not resolutions)

- I will not stop watching airbrushed american television shows that make me feel bad about how I look. Instead I vow to read more of the authors who inspire me, follow the lives of women who work for the bodies they deserve and find time to work on myself.
- I will not dye my hair over and over again longing for it to be something it never will be. Instead I vow to be kind to it and treat it well and most of all not try to have the looks of someone else, but create looks of my own.
- I will not pay to have plastic stuck to me nails because I think that the best way to have long nails. Instead I vow to grow my nails with patience and treat them well.
- I will not use fake tan or sun beds. Instead I will embrace my beautiful pale skin which I have recently realised actually suits my green eyes and dark hair.
- I will not read more into the tweets, Facebook statuses or other social networking site posts of my friends. Instead I vow to spend time with them; honest time so that when they post arsey snarky posts (which they still will) I will know that its nothing to do with me.
- I will not eat junk food. Instead I will allow myself a treat whenever I wish as long as it’s a small amount and I can justify eating it.
- I will not continue to allow my body to deteriorate. Instead I will exercise for 30 minutes every single day. Be it a brisk dog walk, a dance class, a swim or whatever else I wish.
- I will not see the success of others as a failure in me. Instead I will celebrate success with them and strive harder to focus on my aims and goals and not take my eye off them.

love what you do

Finally I will not deny myself any experience, opportunity or emotion. Instead I will go through life open-minded, honestly and with every intention of becoming the greatest version of myself possible.

Would love to know what you feel about this?

E x

PS don’t forget you can still enter my Instant Print business card giveaway 

I’m Sorry…

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Dear January,

I am writing to confess. I’ve been a bad person.

First and foremost let me apologise. I have been so cruel to you in the past. I have bitched behind your back, I have wished you never existed and I have wanted to leave you behind.

But you stood by me, you held fast and showed me how wrong I truly was.

So, January I would like to take these few hundred words to thank you.

Thank you for providing the big wigs at television HQ with a needy and wanting audience, as such we are indulged in the wonderful drama of Ripper Street, the whimsical wonderland of Mr Selfridge and the insatiably addictive Girls.

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Thank you for giving us a fresh start, for offering us a plain piece of paper and the chance to start anew. A literal clean sheet in the form of a new dairy or calendar – the horizon before us is now clear to be filled with wonder and amazement.

Thank you for giving us the hideously bitterly cold weather which means being allowed to have the heating on longer, allows us to unashamedly wear onsies and drink too much hot chocolate.

Thank you for the plethora of inspiration you give to magazines and newspapers, without you January there would be no “fad diet”

So here is my promise January, I promise to be kind to you, to think of you often and to speak only good things when people enquire as to how you are.

So here’s to you January!

All my love

Emma x
January lover!

P.S I will be posting every day in February. Every post will be at least 300 words. I will be taking requests if you want me to write about something, review something etc

So that’s it, that simple

You are not alone this Christmas

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So this is a slightly different post from me, I came across it on Kellie’s blog Big Fashionista  - and decided that I would share as well.

I am lucky enough to be spending Christmas around people who I love and who love me back, I will be safe and warm and have everything I could want.

So many of us take our families for granted at Christmas. We assume that we’ll spend 3 or 4 days visiting and receiving guests, and in some cases bemoan this fact.

Please take some time this season to remember those who may not have visitors, who may be feeling low or alone. If you have neighbors who are alone this Christmas  pop your head in to say hello, take round some chocolates and spend a little time with them.

And if you are feeling alone this year, there are people ready and waiting to talk with you.

This list was compiled by the lovely Kellie at www.bigfashionista.co.uk

MIND http://www.mind.org.uk 0300 123 3393

Samaritans http://www.samaritans.org 08457 90 90 90

Alcoholics Anonymous http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/newcomers 0845 769 7555

Stonewall http://www.stonewall.org.uk Info line 08000 50 20 20

London Lesbian and Gay Switchboard 0207 837 7324

SANELine http://www.sane.org.uk 0845 767 8000

Preventing young suicide http://www.papyrus-uk.org For people in Northern Irelandhttp://www.lifeline.info 0808 808 8000

Childline http://www.childline.org.uk 0800 1111

Depression alliance http://www.depressionalliance.org

Refuge http://www.refuge.org.uk 0808 2000 247

Eating Disorders Association http://www.edauk.com 0845 634 1414

Shelter http://www.shelter.org.uk 0808 800 4444

NHS Direct http://www.nhsdirect.nhs.uk 0845 4647

No Panic http://www.no-panic.co.uk 0808 808 0545

Please don’t suffer alone, these people are waiting to answer your call.

Bitch, Slut, Whore….

Slut; an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

Whore; a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money

Dear Readers I need your help – could someone please tell me when it became acceptable to call other women & girls ‘SLUT’ ‘WHORE’ ‘SLAG’? Now may I just preface this by saying I know this isn’t a new occurrence in the world, and yes I have in the past passed judgement on a stranger without having any rights to. But it seems to me that all of this has now got out of hand. Worst of all it’s not coming from guys about girls, its girls about girls.

In the last 3 weeks I have seen 5 of my friends on Facebook discuss a girl we all went to school with, the said girl is dating one of the ‘mean girls’ ex boyfriends and they have all taken to bad mouthing this girl so badly on Facebook that I have noticed this morning she has deactivated her account. Now it cannot be coincidence that as the ‘mean girls’ were ripping strips of this girl, she decided to leave Facebook.

These girls; note I say girls and not women, as I can only see this behavior as that of people who aren’t grown up enough to be a touch more eloquent; I get that they feel they are protecting their recently dumped friend, but let me make something crystal clear, the aggressive attention should not be focused on the new girlfriend, but on the ex boyfriend surely. Did the new GF even know the guy when he was with his ex? We have been out of school 10 years and yet this feels a lot like it did when I was when I was 17. The difference now is that it’s not just friends on her Facebook  maybe work colleagues or family. It’s not isolated to the school common room like it was in 2002, now its out there for the whole world to see.

Even more upsetting that the 27-year-old girls behaving like school bullies is the recent increase in status’ of friends nieces and nephews and cousins of mine; suddenly it seems to be the norm to call their friends ‘Slag’. When I asked my cousin about this she said “I don’t get it really, but I don’t want to be the only one not doing it, so I do.”  This makes me so sad, I wanted to shake her and make her see the harm that she might be doing not only to herself but to her female and male friends. What chance do her female friends have of growing up and valuing themselves if their friends call them these awful names, even if only in jest. And the guys, what about them? Will they grow into the kind of guys who call the women in their life their ‘bitches’ ‘hoes’ or ‘birds’? Will they understand the way it makes those girls feel?

The reason all of this makes me so mad, is that 10 years ago I was the one being called the names, to name a few we had; slut, slag, whore, bitch, fat, ugly, gold digger, witch, tramp, hooker.  I was non of these things, yes I had boyfriends, yes I made bad decisions, but I didn’t deserve that. But I have moved on and learnt to value myself, but after leaving school I saw myself how they saw me, only good for an easy shag, because since I believed them I was ugly and fat. Fast forward 10 years and I am stood in a bar in Harrogate and bump into a guy I knew at school, who although drunk managed to introduce me to his mates, however he introduced me to these friends as “This is Emma, the easiest girl from school” WOW what an introduction. Luckily i have enough wherewithal to just walk away and not hold it against him.

When I asked on my Facebook page and twitter what women thought about the way some women speak to each other I got a range of replies;

” I’m not sure how any of those terms can be endearing, I’ve heard people using some of them in normal language with their friends…I think it’s disgusting! Wouldn’t want someone calling me any of them, in a friendly way or not!” SAH on Facebook

“When I was teaching I had to deal with this a lot (I had a horrible Yr10 form). I think a lot of it stems from America TV and film – they seem to use it there more often and not to the same effect. It’s more of a casual comment. Unfortunately it’s being used on a day-to-day basis now. Personally, I hate it!!” Sophie, Facebook

“Deeply insecure, needing affirmation that they are not like that themselves” from Laura Jane Connor 

However, there were a few who seemed to think it could be said in an endearing way, that they didn’t mean it in a cruel way but that it was almost a pet name, something that I really do not understand.

So I am planning on making sure that those words never leave my lips, whether I am discussing someone I know or not. Instead I plan on saying this to everyone I know – thank you Aibeline Clark for this.

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So seriously let me know what you think, I really want to know!

E x

 

 

30 ish before I’m 30 ish!

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Sure you have all seen loads of these lists before, well here is mine!

However I am missing 8 things, and would love suggestions for things you all think I should do!? Can be as daft as you like but you have to have done it yourself so recommending me to do it!

Cannot wait to see what you all think!

I will of course be documenting some of these things on here, so the better you make the suggestion the better the blog post!

So the current 22 are here – some I have already completed as I wrote this when I was 21! Not bad for 6 years!

- move into my own house
- earn 30k
- fall in love
- learn to play guitar
- take photography course
- run half marathon
- be on tv
- speak in front of 500+ people
- be in a stage production
- learn Italian
- spend a whole 48 hours technology free
- pay off my credit card
- sky dive – done
– own my own business – done
– work in America – done
– travel to Canada – done
- see every movie on 100 films to see before you die
- get a dog – done
- kiss a girl
- trend on twitter
- interview someone incredible for my blog
- get back into my size 12 jeans

So need 8 more…….

It’s over to you all lovelies – you can comment on here, tweet me @emglobetrotter

Excited to see what you all think I should do!

E x

What did you want to be when you grew up?

I have had a funny old weekend, starting with some really rather horrid tests to try to work out whats up with my heart – my doctor found it very amusing when I told him maybe I was the tin woman and I just did’t have one!

I’ve found whenever I am ill it makes me think back to being a child and how things seemed so much easier when I was poorly and 7 than poorly and almost 27.

Got me to thinking about the others things that change. Whilst feeling sorry for myself on Saturday I watched Eat Pray Love, a movie I have seen more times than I care to mention. Yes, yes I know its not as good as the book and there are parts that are just too outlandish to really believe, there are also parts that really resonate with me, that make me analyse the life that I live.

When Liz ( Julia Roberts) is in Italy she talks with her friends about what ‘word’ she is – if you had just one word to describe yourself what would it be? Would it be the same as the word you would have used as a child to describe what you wanted to be when you were grown? When did it change, more importantly why?

When we are little we learn all about “explaining words” ways to describe things, people, places. We are wildly imaginative as children, using words far above and beyond what we could ever have experienced. But with that lack of experience came a sense of wonder and hope that one day we would travel through space and time to a land where the clouds were made of candy floss and sand on the beaches made of sherbet. We were asked as children ” What do you want to be when you grow up” how many of you wanted to be a Fireman, a Nurse, an Astronaut…a footballer or a CEO? What are you now?

So what happens when we are grown ups, is that it? No more dreaming wildly of ‘when we grow up’ because here we are, we are grown up, are we where we wanted to be 20 years ago?

Me aged 7

I am intrigued by how many people have dreams as adults, they have aspirations to do something life changing, sadly I have found that mostly when they admit these dreams out loud people are less than supportive. Think back to when you were a kid and you told your mum that you wanted to be a Princess or the Prime Minister, how did she react, did she laugh in your face and tell you not to be so ridiculous, did she list the numerous down sides and reasons that it simply would not work out, doubtful. Instead she listened with care, consideration and support your dreams. Now if like me, you are a lucky bean and have a mum who supports you regardless of your wild grown up dreams, I am thrilled for you. However if you don’t then here I am offering my support and care for whatever you want to do.

This all came to a head for me the other week when I was chatting to one of my closest friends. She had decided to do a night climb up Ben Nevis for charity, what an awesome thing to do I thought, however her hopes were dashed when her mum told her she didn’t think it was a good idea, in turn that made my friend feel like her mum didn’t support her dream and therefore didn’t support her.

Sadly although my mum is a never ending beacon of hope and support for me, the same cannot be said of the rest of my family, when I told them I was starting my own cake company the majority of comments were along the lines of “but you have no training”, “there’s a recession you know” & “you’ve never run your own business”.

Not once did any of them say, “that’s amazing, good luck”. As a kid I have a lemonade stand with a friend when I was on holiday in San Francisco  everyone cooed about how industrious we were, fast forward 20 years and I am being irresponsible and it wont work.

I have many people in my life, from a little girl who just turned 3 to my grandmother who is 85. I plan on being as supportive of them every day of their lives as possible, no matter age, time of life, ideas or dreams. So Gracie if you want to be a Princess in 20 years then I will be there with a big ass hat sitting proudly in the Church, Amy if you want to make your books into movies then I will be more than happy to audition the leading man :-) and Gran if you want to run a marathon I will buy trainers and run with you.

If I had listened to the negative comments, I would never have owned my own cake shop, I would never have made cakes for everyone from Radio 1 to First Direct, I wouldn’t have been a part of so many amazing weddings, I would never have sold up and had the money to travel America & Canada, I would never have started writing a blog whilst travelling, I would never have had the nerve to go for my dream job and I doubt I would have got it. So if you think that I dream too big then go right on ahead but know this, I might be 20 years older and wiser than I was when I had my first dream of being a CEO but I still have the dreams, I still aspire to greatness and that wont ever change.

So today do me, and yourself a little favour and be supportive of someone, even if they are not doing things exactly how you think they should, give them praise for dreaming big, for wanting more than the mundane.

Think to yourself, how would you have described yourself 20 years ago, and how do you describe yourself now?

E x

Although I don’t always show it…..I am grateful

So last week was some what of a downer for me, I cannot put my finger on why it was, all I know is, I was not in a good place.

Feeling down is something that tends to creep up on me when least expected, when everything seems to be easy sailing  then without warning a dark cloud appears and no amount of joviality or relaxation seems to shift it.

Now I would never, ever class myself as depressed, mostly because I spent 5 very sad years during my teens suffering from depression, going to counselling and being on medication that made my whole world very flat. As such I know that even on my worst day now, its nothing like the dark days of then. So I know that as most things in life do, the feeling will pass.

The thing that I struggled with though was, no rhyme or reason for my deflated, sad and truly low mood. I am in a job I love, surrounded by lovely people, I have a beautiful home to live in, with the love of my life Lynyrd, I have friends I adore and to be honest I have a charmed life.

Last week though even the joy of being asked out on a date did nothing to pacify my feelings of gloom, maybe it was the hideous weather, or the fact that another week has passed and yet again I have failed at eating healthily, maybe it was the dark mornings and lack of decent sleep. More than likely it was all of those things.

Today though, not only heralds a new week but also a new month and more importantly the start of my favourite season.

Thus, new beautiful winter boots have been purchased, and the excitement is building for my Birthday Fancy Dress party. So today the new boots are on, I am embracing the Berry AW2012 trend and I am planning on blasting that hideous dark cloud into oblivion. Here is how I plan on doing it: -

I read a wonderful blog post on This Little Lady Went to London it was written by a really great guy I follow on twitter called Ryan James Lock - not only is he incredibly gorgeous he really is a champion of positive thinking and looking on the bright side of life. Perfect tweets for Monday morning drudgery. The post he wrote was entitled ’14 Ways to feel better about yourself’ It listed some really fantastic ways of being kinder to yourself and thus being a nicer person to be around. Of the 14 here are the 3 that I plan on taking forward with me this week in my bid to be kinder to myself.

1 – Every day write down 20 things you are grateful for

(this seems and inordinate amount, but once you are on a roll its not that hard)

So here are mine  - my dog Lynyrd, having a beautiful home to live in, getting to go to a job that I love every day, twitter followers who make me smile, the 40 minutes of peace on the train in the morning, sunshine this morning after all that rain, reading a book that makes me howl with laughter, my incredible friends, knowing I am a little part of  my friends new book, new winter boots that fit my calves, its the month of my birthday, the super friendly guy in Starbucks  my freedom, getting a seat on the train, having naturally curly hair that looks great just out of bed, my mum, today is a brand new start, I have people in my life who love me and finally I am alive.

Try writing your own, once you get into the swing of realising that there are all kinds of things that have already happened to you today that you have to be grateful for.

2 – Don’t buy into it 

This is a good one for me, I have been known to go rapidly  from being really happy with the person that I am and the way that I look to being shockingly down on myself simply because I have read a magazine and felt like I am not achieving enough. I am not the highest achieving creative exec at work, I am not the perfect size 10, I do not have perfect skin or have saved the lives of 100,000 children. But today, today I am not buying into all of that, I am appreciative of what I have, who I am and the fact I have the total control and freedom to do as I wish with my life, and make it whatever I chose. Something I know a lot of people in my life suffer with, something I wish I could make easier for them, but I have realised that I cannot make them happy, I just have to be there to make them see that the person that they are is just perfect.

3 – Let it go 

The past is exactly that, with all the amazing technological leaps forward man kind have made, we cannot go back and change the past, its there, its done, leave it the hell alone! Stop despising yourself for the choices you made 10 hours, 10 weeks, 10 years ago. At the moment you decided to do it, it was your choice, stand by it. At the same time take solace from Baz Luhrmann Sunscreen Lyrics  -

“Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum”

So that ladies and gentleman is my little bit of wisdom  do with it what you will, discard this email never to be read again, or take from it some small ways to make your day a tiny bit better.

Thank you all for being wonderful  reading my ramblings and being so kind. You all make me very happy, even on my worst day.

E x