My Match Weekiversary!

My match.com ‘weekiversary’ has passed and I must say after Mr Shadow Penis things are beginning to look up!

week

I must firstly inform you though of the delightful creature who appeared in my inbox late last week. Beautiful doesn’t begin to describe him, handsome movie star good looks and witty banter, I thought hello! I’m on to a winner here.

Fast forward around 3 hours and I’ve learnt that although he is a barrister day-to-day, in the evenings he is a ‘butler in the buff’ what joy I thought! However things took a kooky turn when he informed me that he doesn’t wear an apron when he does it, and usually it’s just one on one with a woman. Now I am not a prude by any means, but surely to you dear readers that seems a little…odd?

With further probing I discover that actually if he had it his way he would be naked all the time and finds that it’s the best way to get to know someone! But “rest assured” he said, you don’t need to be naked on our first date. Phew!

So the date is booked with Mr Naked Lawyer and I guess I’l just have to see what happens. Oh did I also mention he sent me a run down of what I can expect from our first five dates…I’l share a little with you!

“Date 1 – I will be naked, you may not be. I will allow kissing without tongues and light fondling

Date 2 – I will be naked you are more than welcome to be in underwear but not naked. You may pleasure yourself as may I but you may not touch me. I can ejaculate on your body”

Now I’m all up for fondling and all the rest, just not sure I need it scheduled in like a dentists check up?! As a very good friend said… it’s all a little Christian Grey.

Mr Naked seemed to spark some flash of change on the site, suddenly I decided that I should just be bold and email guys I liked the look of, my male friends are always saying women should be more forward. I’m pleased to tell you they’re right!

So as it stands I have a date with a reconstructive surgeon from here on known as Dr Slick, a guitar teacher from Leeds now known as Mr Stratocaster and am chatting with a guy who we’ll call Mr Potential.

Don’t worry il be keeping you up to date on the courting as and when they happen.

Until then! Happy Thursday

E x

Opera North – Otello

The whole idea when I started this blog was to see the world and be in awe of something, anything. I always thought that meant standing in front of Niagara Falls, or watching the sun set over the Canadian wilderness, both of which I have done in the last 12 months. However last Thursday proved me wrong, that actually it isn’t always vast landscapes or astronomical feats of nature, but sometimes simply the incredible talent of individuals.

I never thought I would liken myself to Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman, however just as she sat and watched the opening scene of Aida, her eyes filling with tears and her face lit up with the sheer astonishment of what she was witnessing, I sat as the lights flashed across the stage and the roar of voices began.

Those of you who know me, know I love nothing more than tragedy in my movies and books, I get enthralled in the tales of the devious, the inner workings of the deceitful and the power of jealousy. So when I saw Culture Vulture’s had space on their Access All Areas Otello evening at Opera North last week, I jumped at the chance. The thrill of live theatre mingled with the incredible classical musicality of Verdi and you have quite simply handed me my perfect night of entertainment.

Otello is known as one of Shakespeare’s greatest tragedies, the story of deceit and jealously, ending with a strangulation and blood shed. Iago is quite possibly the most revolting of characters, his entire purpose in the play is to ruin Othello, he does so by filling his head with the green-eyed monster and doubt leading him to believe his beautiful devoted wide Desdemona is cheating on him with Cassio an arrogant captain.

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Ronald Samm as Otello and David Kempster as Iago - Photo credit: Clive Barda

To add even more wonder to the evening I got to meet the incredibly enigmatic and enthralling David Kempster, who played the dastardly Iago. His passion for the opera and his clear love of the Opera North home at Leeds Grand was so inspiring. His presence on stage was mesmerising, to have met him and found him so personable, to then watch him snarl and scheme throughout the whole performance.

As the saying goes behind every great man is a powerful woman and boy is that true in this case it was Elena Kelessidi, who played Desdemona. I cannot begin to describe to you the incredible power of Elena’s voice, to have the force in a single voice to be heard in the very back seat, with a full orchestra and still convey the silent torment of knowing your husband is about to kill you for an adulterous crime you never committed. The love between them at the opening act was so intoxicating i felt myself literally on the edge of my seat, knowing what was about to befall their love.

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Ronald Samm as Otello and Elena Kelessidi as Desdemona - Photo credit: Clive Barda

Of course there wouldn’t be a true theatre or opera experience without the rousing sounds of an ensemble cast lightening the mood, especially if there are adorable children involved. Cue the wonderful chorus singing to Desdemona about her beauty and grace. The set added wonderfully to the drama of the piece, the 1940′s costumes were exquisite and the choreography of  movement on the sage in both the monologues and the ensemble numbers added to the perfection of the evening. A huge congratulations must also go to the incredible people behind the scenes, Conductor Richard Farnes, Director Tim Albery, Set and Costume Designer Leslie Travers, Lighting Designer Thomas C Hase, Choreographer Laïla Diallo, Fight Director Will Tristram

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Elena Kelessidi as Desdemona (centre) and Ann Taylor as Emilia (far right) with the Chorus of Opera North and children’s chorus - Photo credit: Clive Barda

It is rare that I have nothing negative to say, this time is one of those times. A truly wonderful experience and a great way for a newbie to both the world of opera and Shakespeare to begin their love affair. Otello is running at the Leeds Grand until 16th February and can book them easily on the Opera North site and have a look at all of the other amazing performances they have on during 2013.

One of my 2013 resolutions is to go and be in awe of the talent Opera North has to offer.

Let me know what you thought if you have seen Otello or if you are planning to go see it.

Em x

4 days down….27 to go!

4 down

So if you read my initial post about match.com earlier this week you will know that I am on a months trial of the site to see if it can boost my 3.5 year stalemate.

I come with tidings of hilarity and horror! Prepare yourself!

It was all going so well, over 100 views of my profile, 37 winks and 14 chaps chatting to me, I was thrilled. I totally understood the benefit of online dating, in the whole 3.5 years of being single I didn’t get a percentage of the attention I have had on the site.

However, as is always the way, things never do run smoothly in my life. So let me begin with some of the delights on the site, how about the 2 guys on there from Harrogate, who I know have girlfriends who have been ‘active’ on the site in the last few days…hmmm interesting! Then there are the guys who appear to have taken their profile pictures in the dirtiest mirror in the world, or decided that the picture where they are one of 30 people is a suitable one to attract attention. But I think the highlight in terms of profile picture goes to this chap – whose face I have blurred out for legal reasons! But if you are brave have a little look down at the bottom right hand corner……

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Not sure there is much I can say about that! And for the record that’s his profile image, not something he sent me!

But in all of this I think that the most disturbing has to be the guy who asked me out, we made great plans to go to comedy club, he was witty and we have similar interests. We should have been going on our first date tonight, but yesterday the very exciting opportunity to go to Opera North to see Otello came about thanks to Culture Vultures (I will be blogging about this in the next few days); sadly that meant I had to email mikey78 and let him know that we would have to rearrange. The email was a sweet one, his response ..not so much!

He called me most names you can think of including, a cock-tease (not sure he knows what this actually is) bitch and self indulgent. He was even less amused when I responded telling him that we wouldn’t be rearranging the date!

He topped that though, he went straight to Match and reported me as a fake profile! Cue and interesting few emails from Match. In fairness they were really great and understood my frustration with the whole matter.

So all in all an interesting first 4 days on the site. However I will continue with a positive mental attitude and as always humour.  Even if I don’t find love, I am finding a whole world of stuff to blog about!

You can follow the day to day tweetings at @emglobetrotter if you prefer my rants limited to 140 characters!

Until next time….

E x

Chaophraya – a slice of Thai paradise

When the invite landed in my inbox I was more than a little thrilled to see it was an invite to the relaunch of Chaophraya my favourite Thai restaurant. Which I am thrilled to tell you now occupies the ground floor with the Palm Sugar Lounge Bar as well as the first floor restaurant.

I must admit I haven’t been for one of their incredible feasts for at least 2 years! Thats what being out of the dating game does for you, I must rectify that, perfect excuse to eat my way round Leeds!

A little history of the brand

Founded in Leeds in 2005, Chaophraya now has five sites in major cities, including Manchester, Liverpool and Birmingham. The latest Chaophraya recently opened in Glasgow in one of the city’s most prestigious buildings making it the biggest Thai restaurant in Europe.

The brand Chaophraya (pronounced Chao-pi-ya) takes its name from the main waterway in Thailand. In ancient times this river breathed life into the families who lived along its banks. Today the river is still regarded as part of the essence of Thailand, which is where they take their inspiration from.

“Palm Sugar Lounge, Chaophraya’s new downstairs bar, is a sophisticated setting for the city’s social scene.  Its already one of the busiest bars in Liverpool and Glasgow, and is now set to raise the bar for the Leeds social scene with artistic cocktail makers on hand and an interior which fuses traditional Thailand with modern glamour.”

So back to Thursday and to say it was somewhat of a rush is an understatement, a crazy day at work followed by a dash around the new Topshop in the city centre left me extremely hungry and gagging for a drink. As I raced to meet Amy all I could think about was the Pad Thai they create at Chaophraya and I can tell you when I arrived I was not disappointed.

I have always wanted to walk a red carpet, and not one at a wedding, but a snazzy one with security and a policy of “if your name is not down you ain’t coming in” thrilled I was, you can imagine when I was confronted by the sea of beautiful lights and a red carpet leading into the stunning new restaurant entrance – helped immensely by the fact that we were on the list!

Welcoming the guests were the most exquisitely dressed women, in traditional Thai outfits beckoning us through the doors with a plethora of jewel coloured drinks. Once through the welcoming parade it took me a moment to really take in the size of the place, I’ve always been used to arriving up a flight of stairs, but this is far more grand, the fantastically stocked marble bar was staffed by knowledgeable and hugely efficient staff dressed in crisp white shirts.

My cocktail was a blend of fruits and spices an topped off nicely with champagne, and a flourish of mint and strawberries. Amy and I sat people watching for a good 20 minutes taking in the glamorous girls and dashing chaps flooding into the palatial bar area.

Then onward upstairs we decided, the staircase is the most sensational mix of glass and dark cherry wood and leads you up to the stunning restaurant area, laid out almost identically to the last time I had visited, although clearly had been spruced up and now offers a more glamorous place to eat. Glass bi-fold doors open onto a patio that even in the last days of September air was a joy I sit on and enjoy another cheeky cocktail.

Then came the food. The chefs preparing Pad Thai fresh in front of you is a sight to see, such skill in making simple ingredients taste so unbelievable. I won’t lie to you I went back for seconds, and thirds…..you get the picture.

The evening was rounded off by an indulgent hand massage and a blessing from a guru. The whole night was planned to perfection and having been to a fair few of these events I have never seen so many content faces. But that’s clearly what comes from fantastic service, stunning food and a couple of cocktails.

In summary I will be booking a table ASAP to indulge in the whole menu and may even treat myself to one of their Thai Cookery Courses.

They are offering some great offers to celebrate the arrival of Palm Sugar in Leeds, they’ve  introduced Fizz Fridays – (two glasses for £11, Friday evenings between 5pm and 8pm.) The restaurant also has a brand new à la carte menu and a range of set menus designed by Chaophraya’s founder, Kim Kaewkraikhot. You can book online for dinner so there really is no excuse.

Let me know if you have visited since it has reopened and what you thought?

eHarmony….shmarmony!

Right I would like at this point to draw your attention to the fact that I in no way see myself as a perfect catch, relationship wise. I have flaws, many in some ways. I am not at my fittest, hottest most awesome self, but I am on the way back there!

Since meeting Mr 3 Piece suit there has been a distinct shift in my attitude towards relationships, I have accepted that although I would love to have butterflies the minute I meet someone, I have to accept that I may just end up disappointed. I also am surrounded by couples, A&K, C&C are my favourites, they show the full spectrum of relationship shades, from the love to the loathing I get to see it all. That is the thing I miss most about being with someone, its not actually the love part, its the being together part, the having someone to talk to late at night when you can’t sleep, the person who knows you by choice not because they have to, someone whose chest I can rest my head on when the world seems a little scary.

And so here I am a month into online dating and to be honest its a sad state of affairs, I am quite honestly shocked and disheartened by the ‘matches’ that eharmony seem to think I will fall madly in love with and go on to star in a sappy tv ad!

Now for those of you lucky gits who have found love in a dark bar whilst dancing to scissor sisters and drinking a vodka&red bull or via your very kind friends then all this ‘online’ dating malarkey may be new to you – if so then it goes a little something like this…..

Step 1- Realise just how hideously lonely you are, go on a night out get painfully drunk and end up calling an ex only to be delightfully awoken the next morning with a patronising text from him going a little like this “Emma, i’m with someone else now, I really think you should find someone too” Yeah thanks dick head! I am clearly trying and failing, hence the late night call to you! Moron!

Step 2 – Accept that maybe you need a little assistance in the whole dating game, see an advert on tv of a shiny cute couple who have found everlasting love via the medium of online dating. So you sign yourself up and wait for the plethora of beautiful, talented, charismatic men to flood your inbox.

Step 3 – Massively regret signing up for this service as all it does is remind you of the fact that you are painfully picky and that the chances of you finding said beautiful, talented and charismatic chap are about as likely as creating a fully functional chocolate teapot!

The particular site I am on asked me a 100,000,000 questions in an effort to ‘match’ me with someone looking for the same things in life, with the same morals and searching for the same type of relationship. Let me just tell you something, whoever made their ‘match maker’ algorithms needs shooting!

I am not looking for someone who is 5ft 4, unemployed and living with his parents. I also do not need to waste my time talking to someone whose opening statement says “I’m awesome”, how about the man who looks a little like Santa after a heavy night out…..I ask you why have they been suggested to me? Is it a subliminal way of telling me that the best I can do is scrape the barrel at this point?

I don’t like to come across as being cruel towards others, Mr 5ft4 may in fact be lovely, and have a genuine reason for living at home and being unemployed but to be honest I am 27 in just over a month and I don’t have time to deal with all of that! I have my own agenda, and I know that it isnt like it is in the movies, but now I have been reminded of that feeling of a racing heart beat and flushed cheeks, I know what it feels like once more to slow dance with someone, and chat about nothing under the stars drinking champagne….

……So here is the new plan – get a new job, get a social life, get a man.

The new job bit has been checked, I started today at a wonderful digital agency in Leeds called Sticky Eyes, and am now surrounded by very like minded, uber cool and all round awesome folks. There are some very cute faces to keep me entertained as well. They are a super social lot and I have already been invited on a few nights out including the work fancy dress night out. So I think that point 2 – get a social life – is well on its way.

Anyone who knows me, knows that when it comes to patience, the personality fairy pretty much missed me out! I do things my way and in my own time, if that means asap then asap is when it will happen. As always if you cannot wait for the next installation of this blog you can follow me on twitter

I think that this blog may be simply the start of the journey… so hold on tight and prepare yourself for my no holds barred relationship revolution!