So last week was some what of a downer for me, I cannot put my finger on why it was, all I know is, I was not in a good place.
Feeling down is something that tends to creep up on me when least expected, when everything seems to be easy sailing then without warning a dark cloud appears and no amount of joviality or relaxation seems to shift it.
Now I would never, ever class myself as depressed, mostly because I spent 5 very sad years during my teens suffering from depression, going to counselling and being on medication that made my whole world very flat. As such I know that even on my worst day now, its nothing like the dark days of then. So I know that as most things in life do, the feeling will pass.
The thing that I struggled with though was, no rhyme or reason for my deflated, sad and truly low mood. I am in a job I love, surrounded by lovely people, I have a beautiful home to live in, with the love of my life Lynyrd, I have friends I adore and to be honest I have a charmed life.
Last week though even the joy of being asked out on a date did nothing to pacify my feelings of gloom, maybe it was the hideous weather, or the fact that another week has passed and yet again I have failed at eating healthily, maybe it was the dark mornings and lack of decent sleep. More than likely it was all of those things.
Today though, not only heralds a new week but also a new month and more importantly the start of my favourite season.
Thus, new beautiful winter boots have been purchased, and the excitement is building for my Birthday Fancy Dress party. So today the new boots are on, I am embracing the Berry AW2012 trend and I am planning on blasting that hideous dark cloud into oblivion. Here is how I plan on doing it: -
I read a wonderful blog post on This Little Lady Went to London it was written by a really great guy I follow on twitter called Ryan James Lock - not only is he incredibly gorgeous he really is a champion of positive thinking and looking on the bright side of life. Perfect tweets for Monday morning drudgery. The post he wrote was entitled ’14 Ways to feel better about yourself’ It listed some really fantastic ways of being kinder to yourself and thus being a nicer person to be around. Of the 14 here are the 3 that I plan on taking forward with me this week in my bid to be kinder to myself.
1 – Every day write down 20 things you are grateful for
(this seems and inordinate amount, but once you are on a roll its not that hard)
So here are mine - my dog Lynyrd, having a beautiful home to live in, getting to go to a job that I love every day, twitter followers who make me smile, the 40 minutes of peace on the train in the morning, sunshine this morning after all that rain, reading a book that makes me howl with laughter, my incredible friends, knowing I am a little part of my friends new book, new winter boots that fit my calves, its the month of my birthday, the super friendly guy in Starbucks my freedom, getting a seat on the train, having naturally curly hair that looks great just out of bed, my mum, today is a brand new start, I have people in my life who love me and finally I am alive.
Try writing your own, once you get into the swing of realising that there are all kinds of things that have already happened to you today that you have to be grateful for.
2 – Don’t buy into it
This is a good one for me, I have been known to go rapidly from being really happy with the person that I am and the way that I look to being shockingly down on myself simply because I have read a magazine and felt like I am not achieving enough. I am not the highest achieving creative exec at work, I am not the perfect size 10, I do not have perfect skin or have saved the lives of 100,000 children. But today, today I am not buying into all of that, I am appreciative of what I have, who I am and the fact I have the total control and freedom to do as I wish with my life, and make it whatever I chose. Something I know a lot of people in my life suffer with, something I wish I could make easier for them, but I have realised that I cannot make them happy, I just have to be there to make them see that the person that they are is just perfect.
3 – Let it go
The past is exactly that, with all the amazing technological leaps forward man kind have made, we cannot go back and change the past, its there, its done, leave it the hell alone! Stop despising yourself for the choices you made 10 hours, 10 weeks, 10 years ago. At the moment you decided to do it, it was your choice, stand by it. At the same time take solace from Baz Luhrmann Sunscreen Lyrics -
“Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum”
So that ladies and gentleman is my little bit of wisdom do with it what you will, discard this email never to be read again, or take from it some small ways to make your day a tiny bit better.
Thank you all for being wonderful reading my ramblings and being so kind. You all make me very happy, even on my worst day.